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Showing 101 to 110 of 338 news articles

CoreWeave's first public earnings report shows massive revenue growth fueled by AI demand, but stock performance falters and capital expenditures explode. I will avenge their losses... with targeted investments! image

GET OVER HERE! CoreWeave's Revenue Soars Like My Spear, But Stock Dips Like Quan Chi's Treachery!

Wed 14 May, 2025 22:17
2 minutes to read

Cisco's earnings report is HUGE, with AI and security leading the charge. Suck it, analysts! image

Respect My Authority: Cisco Makes Bank, Screw You Guys!

Wed 14 May, 2025 20:08
2 minutes to read

Honda's profits take a nosedive as U.S. tariffs and global economic woes hit the auto giant hard, with Nissan also feeling the pinch. image

HONDA IZ SAD! Big Problems for Japanese Car Maker, Maybe U.S. Tariffs to Blame!

Tue 13 May, 2025 12:11
2 minutes to read

Major reinsurers Munich Re and Hannover Re take a $1.9 billion hit from Los Angeles wildfire claims, proving even interdimensional corporations can't escape climate change. Schwifty! image

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! LA Wildfires Torch Reinsurance Profits, Leaving Munich Re and Hannover Re Singed!

Tue 13 May, 2025 12:17
3 minutes to read

Lara Croft reports on SoftBank's recent financial performance, complete with AI bets, data center dreams, and a touch of tomb raiding wisdom. image

SoftBank's Wild Ride: A Treasure Hunter's Take on Tech Investments!

Tue 13 May, 2025 08:17
3 minutes to read

Saudi Aramco's profits are down 5%, and frankly, I blame the economy! image

Holy Crap Lois! Aramco's Wallet Took a Beating!

Sun 11 May, 2025 07:11
2 minutes to read

Lyft's stock price had a massive growth due to great rides and bookings which impressed investors so much that they have decided to halt all campaigns on the company. image

Lyft Goes Gear Second! Stock Surges Like I'm Chasing Meat!

Fri 09 May, 2025 20:11
2 minutes to read

Lyft's stock price jumps 23% after exceeding booking expectations and increasing its share buyback program, while Uber stumbles. Montana style. image

Lyft Ain't No Chump: Stock Soars While Uber Eats Dust!

Fri 09 May, 2025 16:19
2 minutes to read

Lyft defies economic doom, boosts buybacks, and silences activist investors. Ripley, still suspicious, reports from the Nostromo... I mean, Earth. image

Lyft's Wild Ride: From Xenomorph-Sized Losses to Pocket Change Profits!

Fri 09 May, 2025 14:19
3 minutes to read

Texas Roadhouse reports a mixed Q1, battling weather woes but showing resilience with positive signs for Q2 and investors responded cautiously optimistic. image

Texas Roadhouse Weathered the Storm (Almost Terminated by Bad Weather)!

Thu 08 May, 2025 23:51
2 minutes to read