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Showing 71 to 80 of 361 news articles

Your humble narrator, Leo Messi, breaks down Fanatics Fest 2025, where I'll be showing those 'athletes' and some lucky fans how it's REALLY done. Plus, there's a Ferrari involved… Just saying. image

Fanatics Fest 2025: Messi Takes on Brady, Durant, and YOU (Maybe)!

Tue 20 May, 2025 14:05
3 minutes to read

Levi Strauss sells Dockers to Authentic Brands Group for $311 million, aiming to focus on denim and international growth. Will Dockers find One Piece under new management? image

Shishishi! Levi's Selling Dockers? More Meat on the Bone for Authentic!

Tue 20 May, 2025 12:30
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on Cadillac's surge in EV sales, attracting Tesla owners seeking a change of pace, but is it really the future, or just a shiny distraction? image

Great News, Everyone! Cadillac Captures Tesla Defectors in Electric Vehicle Conquest!

Tue 20 May, 2025 14:00
3 minutes to read

JPMorgan releases its annual summer reading list for the wealthy, focusing on happiness, resilience, AI, and the future of money. I, Kratos, offer my own… unique… perspective. image

BOY! The Wealthy Seek Happiness? Bah! Kratos Reviews Summer Reading List for the Affluent

Tue 20 May, 2025 11:00
3 minutes to read

Despite missing earnings targets, Home Depot plans to keep prices steady by diversifying suppliers, while focusing on professional customers amidst a challenging housing market. Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man breaks it down! image

Home Depot Dodges Tariff Troubles: Spidey's Take on Lumber, Tariffs, and Black Friday in Spring!

Tue 20 May, 2025 12:06
3 minutes to read

Home Depot ain't raising prices, thanks to its cunning and supplier partnerships, despite tariff threats. But don't get your hopes up, things could still go south faster than a robot at a disco. image

Bender's Brilliant Breakdown: Home Depot Dodges Tariff Troubles (For Now, Meatbags!)

Tue 20 May, 2025 10:24
2 minutes to read

Novo Nordisk's CEO jumps ship amid fierce competition in the weight-loss drug market! Will they sink or swim against Eli Lilly and a sea of rivals? image

SHISHISHI! Novo Nordisk's Captain Steps Down! Can They Still Find the One Piece?

Mon 19 May, 2025 18:52
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on Wynn Resorts abandoning their bid for a New York casino license amidst political squabbles and stiff competition. Stock buybacks, ho! image

Good News Everyone! Wynn Resorts Bails on New York Casino Dreams!

Mon 19 May, 2025 19:11
2 minutes to read

The U.S. Open is set to undergo a massive $800 million renovation, promising a spruced-up Arthur Ashe Stadium and a swanky new player performance center, all without a penny from the public. image

E=MC Hammer Time at the U.S. Open! Tennis Gets a Big Bang Upgrade

Mon 19 May, 2025 19:30
3 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase CEO warns about deficits and tariffs, but who cares when there's chaos to be had? image

Jamie Dimon Says We're All Doomed! (And I Say... Good!)

Mon 19 May, 2025 18:35
2 minutes to read