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Target's sales slump, prompting leadership shakeups and a revised outlook. Is it the economy, tariffs, or something else entirely that's sending this retail giant off course? image

Target Misses the Mark: Is 'Tarzhay' Losing Its Edge or Just Another Brick in the Wall?

Wed 21 May, 2025 12:07
2 minutes to read

Despite slightly missing Wall Street's expectations, Lowe's remains optimistic about its full-year forecast, citing investments in stores and customer service. Jackie Chan gives his take! image

Lowe's Sticks the Landing Like a Jackie Chan Stunt! But Did They Break a Few Boards?

Wed 21 May, 2025 10:21
2 minutes to read

A Mandalorian's take on Target's upcoming earnings report, tariffs, and diversity initiatives. Spoiler alert: I have spoken... about retail. image

Target's Fiscal Forecast: Is the Force With Them, or Are They Bantha Fodder?

Wed 21 May, 2025 04:01
2 minutes to read

Toyota ditches traditional gas guzzlers for a hybrid-only RAV4 in 2026, leaving Stewie unimpressed. image

RAV4 Gets a Hybrid Makeover! Oh Good Grief...

Wed 21 May, 2025 01:00
2 minutes to read

Roger Goodell unveils plans to expand the NFL's reach with more international games and private equity, while downplaying economic concerns. image

NFL Commissioner Goodell Dreams of World Domination: 16 Games Abroad, Dragons Not Included

Tue 20 May, 2025 17:27
3 minutes to read

An analysis of Walmart's evolving stance on Trump's tariffs, revealing the delicate balance businesses must strike between appeasing customers, shareholders, and a transactional White House. image

Walmart's Tariff Tango: A Delicate Dance in the Age of Disruption

Tue 20 May, 2025 16:46
3 minutes to read

The FDA is cracking down on Covid booster approvals for healthy people, and about time, you guys! It's all about real science, not just making money off us. image

Respect My Authoritah! FDA Finally Gets Smart About These Stupid Covid Shots!

Tue 20 May, 2025 15:42
3 minutes to read

Your humble narrator, Leo Messi, breaks down Fanatics Fest 2025, where I'll be showing those 'athletes' and some lucky fans how it's REALLY done. Plus, there's a Ferrari involved… Just saying. image

Fanatics Fest 2025: Messi Takes on Brady, Durant, and YOU (Maybe)!

Tue 20 May, 2025 14:05
3 minutes to read

Levi Strauss sells Dockers to Authentic Brands Group for $311 million, aiming to focus on denim and international growth. Will Dockers find One Piece under new management? image

Shishishi! Levi's Selling Dockers? More Meat on the Bone for Authentic!

Tue 20 May, 2025 12:30
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth reports on Cadillac's surge in EV sales, attracting Tesla owners seeking a change of pace, but is it really the future, or just a shiny distraction? image

Great News, Everyone! Cadillac Captures Tesla Defectors in Electric Vehicle Conquest!

Tue 20 May, 2025 14:00
3 minutes to read