Allbirds Flies the Coop on US Stores A Recipe for Disaster

Bloody Hell What's Cooking at Allbirds

Right let's get one thing straight. Allbirds those eco friendly shoe blighters are pulling the plug on their full price stores in the US. By the end of February they're gone. Vanished. Like a souffle that's been left in the oven too long. CEO Joe Vernachio bless his cotton socks says it's all about 'profitable growth'. Sounds like a load of bollocks if you ask me but who am I to judge I'm just a chef and not a retail guru.

From Brick and Mortar to Click and Order Is It Raw

Two years they've been chipping away at these stores like a bloody badger at a truffle. Now they're binning the lot focusing on the interweb and partnerships. Smart move Or are they just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic They're keeping a couple of outlet stores in the US and a pair of full price shops in London. London you say A city with taste unlike some of these other places. They're hoping this will save them maybe they should check out Arm Shares Take a Dive Ogres and Analysts Weigh In to see how other businesses are doing.

The DTC Dream Turned Nightmare Where's the Lamb Sauce

Allbirds bless their little eco friendly hearts started in Silicon Valley and boomed during the direct to consumer craze. IPO in 2021. Fancy that. They thought physical stores would be the golden goose. But as rents soared and online shopping became king their strategy turned into a soggy bottom. Many DTC companies banked on physical stores. Now they are all closing. A mistake.

Revenue Disaster A Recipe for Ruin

Their third quarter earnings were a disaster. A 23.3% hit thanks to international distributor bollocks and store closures. US store revenue down by 20%. That's worse than one of my kitchens after a bloody service. Their stock has plummeted and their market cap is smaller than my ego. It's about time they get their act together. Or someone will take over.

A Last Ditch Effort Is There Hope

The question is can they pull it off Can Allbirds rise from the ashes like a phoenix from a flaming Christmas pudding Or are they destined for the bin Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure they need to sort their bloody act out and fast.

Gordon's Verdict Needs More Seasoning

Look I'm no retail expert but I know a bloody good dish when I see one. And Allbirds' strategy needs more seasoning. A dash of innovation a pinch of courage and a whole heap of bloody common sense. Otherwise they're heading for a right royal disaster. Now where's that lamb sauce