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Showing 61 to 70 of 134 news articles

Snowflake's impressive Q1 2026 results send stock skyrocketing, leaving analysts and simpletons alike in awe, while I, Stewie Griffin, bask in the glow of my financial acumen. image

Victory is Mine! Snowflake Stock Soars, Proving My Superior Intellect (and Investment Strategy)

Thu 22 May, 2025 16:12
2 minutes to read

The House advances Trump's tax bill after a marathon debate, but will it lead to fiscal Armageddon or just another Tuesday? image

Trump's 'Big, Beautiful' Tax Bill: A Diaper Full of Fiscal Follies?

Thu 22 May, 2025 03:34
5 minutes to read

House Republicans are in a tizzy as the Freedom Caucus threatens to derail Trump's tax bill, leaving Speaker Johnson in a right pickle. image

Trump's Tax Bill Tantrums: Freedom Caucus Throws a Wrench in the Works!

Wed 21 May, 2025 16:59
3 minutes to read

Toyota ditches traditional gas guzzlers for a hybrid-only RAV4 in 2026, leaving Stewie unimpressed. image

RAV4 Gets a Hybrid Makeover! Oh Good Grief...

Wed 21 May, 2025 01:00
2 minutes to read

Despite some earnings hiccups, Home Depot reassures investors with positive sales trends and a sunny outlook, proving they're not just selling wood, but hope! image

Home Depot's Q1 Results: A Mixed Bag of Screws and Surprises!

Tue 20 May, 2025 16:08
3 minutes to read

Alphabet's Waymo gets the green light to expand its autonomous ride-hailing service across the San Francisco Bay Area, promising a future where drivers are as obsolete as Brian's sobriety. image

Waymo's Robotaxi Revolution: San Jose Braces for Driverless Apocalypse!

Mon 19 May, 2025 23:19
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan thinks emerging market stocks might actually be worth something now, after years of being about as useful as Bertram's attempts at world domination. Apparently, someone finally figured out China and the U.S. aren't going to trade blows forever. image

Victory is Mine! Emerging Markets Finally Stop Being Such a Brian

Mon 19 May, 2025 13:09
3 minutes to read

While other luxury brands are having a bit of a 'mare, Richemont, darling, is raking in the jewels thanks to their top-tier bling, leaving LVMH in the dust. Watches? Not so much. But who needs time when you're dripping in diamonds? image

Diamonds Are Forever, Darling: Richemont Laughs in the Face of Economic Doom!

Sun 18 May, 2025 05:35
2 minutes to read

Chipotle's Jack Hartung joins Tesla's board amidst sinking sales and Musk's... eccentricities. Prepare for financial discipline, or at least, slightly less chaos. image

Tesla's New Board Member: From Burritos to Batteries, Oh Good Grief!

Fri 16 May, 2025 18:00
2 minutes to read

Facing lawsuits and criticism over its impact on young users' mental health, TikTok introduces meditation features and other wellness tools, but is it just a thinly veiled attempt to distract us from their nefarious data-mining schemes? image

TikTok Tries Meditation: A Pathetic Attempt to Appease the Masses, Says Stewie Griffin

Fri 16 May, 2025 08:42
2 minutes to read