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Showing 51 to 60 of 89 news articles

Stewie Griffin analyzes the latest fintech stock movements, highlighting the gains of Shift4 Payments and Upstart Holdings, while examining PayPal's mixed results and Venmo's promising revenue growth. image

Griffin's Guide to Fintech Fortunes: Shift4 Soars, Upstart Gets a Boost, and Venmo Finally Grows Up!

Tue 29 April, 2025 17:32
3 minutes to read

JPMorgan is betting big on Qualcomm's diversification into IoT, autos, and data centers, because apparently smartphones aren't enough for world domination. image

Qualcomm to Conquer Beyond Smartphones? Oh, Goody, Another Tech Overlord!

Tue 29 April, 2025 11:42
2 minutes to read

Cloud software vendors, including Atlassian, Snowflake, and Workday, invest $108 million in Veza to manage employee access to internal technologies, highlighting the growing importance of cybersecurity in a world filled with more villains than a Bond movie. image

Giggity Giggity Goo! Tech Giants Band Together to Invest in Veza - Because Apparently, Everyone's Been Naughty with Corporate Data!

Mon 28 April, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

Corporate sponsorships for LGBTQ+ Pride events are dwindling, leading to budget cuts and a reevaluation of values. What will become of my fabulous outfits? image

Oh, Good Heavens! Are Corporations Ditching Pride Like Brian Ditching Sobriety?

Sun 27 April, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

A new survey reveals that Americans are more afraid of running out of money in retirement than facing the Grim Reaper himself. High inflation, wobbly Social Security, and those pesky taxes are to blame. Time to panic, or perhaps invest in a time machine? image

Oh, Good Lord! Are We All Doomed to Starve in Retirement?

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:02
2 minutes to read

RBC Capital Markets says Procter & Gamble stock is poised for an 11% jump, despite recent earnings woes. I, Stewie Griffin, will dissect this news with the precision of a laser and the wit of... well, me. image

P&G Stock: Good Giggity or Utter Rubbish? Stewie Griffin's Take

Fri 25 April, 2025 12:03
2 minutes to read

Consumer giants like P&G and Chipotle whine about tariffs impacting profits, consumers get nervous, and I'm left wondering if I'll have to pay more for my evil schemes... I mean, morning tea. image

Dagnabbit Tariffs! Consumer Companies Throw Tantrums, Blame Trump for Their Woes!

Thu 24 April, 2025 18:25
3 minutes to read

A whimsical (and slightly terrifying) look at today's premarket trading, featuring corporate earnings, tariff tantrums, and enough volatility to make even Brian seasick. image

Is Your Portfolio Toast?! Stocks Tumble and Soar Like a Diaper Full of Mercury!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:03
3 minutes to read

Alaska Airlines warns of weaker travel demand, impacting second-quarter earnings and leaving Wall Street analysts clutching their pearls. image

Alaska Airlines Earnings PLUMMET! Is Your Summer Vacation DOOMED?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 21:40
2 minutes to read

Alaska Airlines warns of weaker travel demand, impacting second-quarter earnings, leaving Wall Street analysts clutching their pearls. image

Oh Dear! Alaska Airlines in a Tizzy! Is This the End of Our Luxurious Getaways?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 21:40
3 minutes to read