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Showing 21 to 30 of 89 news articles

Alphabet's Waymo gets the green light to expand its autonomous ride-hailing service across the San Francisco Bay Area, promising a future where drivers are as obsolete as Brian's sobriety. image

Waymo's Robotaxi Revolution: San Jose Braces for Driverless Apocalypse!

Mon 19 May, 2025 23:19
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan thinks emerging market stocks might actually be worth something now, after years of being about as useful as Bertram's attempts at world domination. Apparently, someone finally figured out China and the U.S. aren't going to trade blows forever. image

Victory is Mine! Emerging Markets Finally Stop Being Such a Brian

Mon 19 May, 2025 13:09
3 minutes to read

While other luxury brands are having a bit of a 'mare, Richemont, darling, is raking in the jewels thanks to their top-tier bling, leaving LVMH in the dust. Watches? Not so much. But who needs time when you're dripping in diamonds? image

Diamonds Are Forever, Darling: Richemont Laughs in the Face of Economic Doom!

Sun 18 May, 2025 05:35
2 minutes to read

Chipotle's Jack Hartung joins Tesla's board amidst sinking sales and Musk's... eccentricities. Prepare for financial discipline, or at least, slightly less chaos. image

Tesla's New Board Member: From Burritos to Batteries, Oh Good Grief!

Fri 16 May, 2025 18:00
2 minutes to read

Facing lawsuits and criticism over its impact on young users' mental health, TikTok introduces meditation features and other wellness tools, but is it just a thinly veiled attempt to distract us from their nefarious data-mining schemes? image

TikTok Tries Meditation: A Pathetic Attempt to Appease the Masses, Says Stewie Griffin

Fri 16 May, 2025 08:42
2 minutes to read

The FBI is sounding the alarm about scammers using AI-generated voices to impersonate senior U.S. officials, targeting government figures and their contacts in sophisticated phishing schemes. image

FBI Warns: Vicious Vishing Villains Vexing VIPs with AI Voice Shenanigans!

Thu 15 May, 2025 19:16
3 minutes to read

Crypto giant Coinbase reveals insider threat: rogue agents bribed for customer data, potentially costing millions. Oh, the humanity! image

Coinbase Gets Mugged! Overseas Agents Sell Secrets for a Few Quarters!

Thu 15 May, 2025 12:18
2 minutes to read

The Oracle of Omaha, nearing a century, steps down as Berkshire CEO, citing the indignities of growing old. Prepare for a new era, dominated by Greg Abel, and possibly, a market panic or two. image

Giggity! Warren Buffett Finally Admits He's Aging Like a Fine...Moldy Cheese?

Wed 14 May, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Baidu's Apollo Go plans to unleash its driverless taxis in Europe, starting with Switzerland and Turkey, while also eyeing Dubai, Abu Dhabi and Hong Kong. Prepare for a future where Brian drives you around! image

Baidu's Robotaxi Revolution: Europe, Prepare to Be Bowled Over!

Wed 14 May, 2025 11:03
2 minutes to read

Silicon Valley's AI giants are racing to release consumer-ready AI services, prioritizing commercialization over rigorous safety testing, raising concerns about potential dangers. image

The AI Apocalypse is Nigh: Silicon Valley Sacrifices Safety for Profit!

Wed 14 May, 2025 11:00
3 minutes to read