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A fertility clinic bombing was aided by AI, proving even robots can have questionable motives. Oh, the humanity! image

Good News Everyone! AI-Powered Bomb Plots are the Future (Probably Dangerous)

Wed 04 June, 2025 23:38
3 minutes to read

Global confectionery giants and humble startups alike are scrambling to cash in on the Dubai chocolate trend, resulting in a flurry of limited-edition products and inspired spin-offs. image

Good News Everyone! Dubai Chocolate Craze Sweeps the Planet!

Sat 31 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Despite Jamie Dimon's constant warnings of economic doom, JPMorgan Chase continues to thrive, leaving us to wonder if his pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy or just good business. image

Good News Everyone! Dimon's Doomsday Clock is Great For JPMorgan

Fri 30 May, 2025 18:59
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth Reports on the Dismal ADP Numbers and the Looming Economic Doom (Maybe?) image

Good News Everyone! The Economy is...Slowing Down?

Wed 04 June, 2025 13:40
2 minutes to read

A federal appeals court temporarily pauses a lower-court ruling against Trump's tariffs, giving the administration some breathing room while the legal battle continues. Oh my yes! image

Good News Everyone! Tariff Turmoil Temporarily Tranquilized!

Thu 29 May, 2025 20:22
3 minutes to read

Nvidia's Earnings Soar, Semiconductor Stocks Rally Despite Export Restrictions. A triumph of engineering, or just dumb luck? image

Good News Everyone! Nvidia Defies Gravity (and China)!

Thu 29 May, 2025 12:02
3 minutes to read

Nvidia's latest earnings report defies trade war woes, making investors richer than a Planet Express crew after a successful delivery... almost! image

Good News Everyone! Nvidia's Stock is Soaring Higher Than Hubert's Hair!

Wed 28 May, 2025 21:15
3 minutes to read

Getty Images is suing Stability AI for alleged copyright infringement, claiming AI firms are stealing content under the guise of innovation. Will this spell the end of progress, or just a slight detour? image

Good News Everyone! Getty Images vs. The AI Apocalypse (Maybe?)

Wed 28 May, 2025 06:08
3 minutes to read

Nippon Steel's acquisition of U.S. Steel gets the green light, sparking debates about national security, golden shares, and the future of metal bending... I mean, steel production! image

Good News Everyone! U.S. Steel Saved From Inevitable Obsolescence (Maybe?)

Tue 27 May, 2025 14:26
3 minutes to read

A recent survey reveals Portugal as the top destination for Americans seeking adventure, enrichment, and escape from… well, you know. Sponsored by the fine folks at Expatsi! image

Good News Everyone! Americans Fleeing to Portugal Like Morbo to Earth!

Fri 23 May, 2025 18:54
3 minutes to read