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Footwear giant Skechers gets snapped up by 3G Capital for $63 a share, leaving public markets behind and prompting reflections on the future of retail. image

Skechers Strides into the Private Sector: A Zuck-tastic Takeover

Mon 05 May, 2025 20:58
3 minutes to read

Function Health buys full-body MRI startup Ezra, launching a $499, 22-minute scan to democratize preventative health. Because early detection shouldn't be a luxury. image

Function Health Acquires Ezra: Finally, Healthcare That Doesn't Require a Harvard Degree (or Kim K's Budget)

Mon 05 May, 2025 16:00
3 minutes to read

A Redfin report reveals the ever-widening income gap needed to buy versus rent, and Zuckerberg weighs in with his signature blend of optimism and robot-like empathy. image

Housing Crisis? More Like a Housing Opportunity (for Some of Us)

Sun 04 May, 2025 13:00
3 minutes to read

A Redfin analysis shows the income gap between owning and renting is widening in the US, but hey, at least there's always the metaverse, right? image

Housing Crisis? More Like a Housing Opportunity (For Some of Us)

Sun 04 May, 2025 13:00
2 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg weighs in on United Airlines' Newark flight cancellations, blaming FAA staffing shortages and offering a humorous, slightly dystopian perspective. image

United Airlines Newark Nightmare: Is it Time to Send Air Traffic Controllers to the Metaverse?

Fri 02 May, 2025 22:19
3 minutes to read

Chevron scales back share buybacks amid falling crude prices and fluctuating profits, but remains optimistic about long-term shareholder returns. Can they navigate the oil market's volatility? image

Chevron's Oil Slide: Is This Just the Beginning or a Minor Setback?

Fri 02 May, 2025 14:09
3 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg analyzes Hasbro's strategy to dodge Trump's tariffs by diversifying its supply chain, all while keeping those toy prices magically low. image

Hasbro's Playing the Long Game: A Zuck Perspective on Tariffs and Toys

Thu 01 May, 2025 23:43
3 minutes to read

A look at the intersection of high-net-worth individuals, equestrian investments, and why even a Metaverse mogul like me is staying out of the stable...for now. image

Kentucky Derby: Horses, High Finance, and Why I'm Not Betting on Them (Yet)

Thu 01 May, 2025 11:00
3 minutes to read

Meta's Q1 results exceeded expectations, driven by AI advancements and strong user engagement, proving that even Zuckerberg's wildest spending sprees can have a method to their madness. image

Meta Crushes Earnings, AI Investments Paying Off (And I'm Totally Not a Robot)

Thu 01 May, 2025 00:12
4 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg throws his two cents into the Nvidia-China AI debate, mixing tech reality with a healthy dose of Zuck-style satire. image

Zuckerberg Reacts: Is China Really Overtaking Us in the AI Race? (Spoiler: It's Complicated)

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:48
3 minutes to read