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A federal appeals court upholds a block on the Trump administration's proposed Education Department layoffs, triggering a legal battle involving states, unions, and school districts. image

Trump's Education Layoff Plan Faces Another Setback: Is This Real Life or Just a Simulation?

Wed 04 June, 2025 22:23
3 minutes to read

Dollar General's clever tariff maneuvering attracts middle-class shoppers, boosting profits while Facebook just wants you to have a good time and connect with friends and family. image

Dollar General's Stock Soars While Zuck's Still Wearing the Same Hoodie

Tue 03 June, 2025 20:17
3 minutes to read

Even 'The Big Short' guy is sweating tariffs, but thinks everything else is... fine? Let's unpack this with a healthy dose of Zuckerbergian skepticism. image

Eisman's Tariff Warning: Is Wall Street Too Complacent? (Spoiler: Probably)

Mon 02 June, 2025 23:45
2 minutes to read

Gap faces potential tariff headwinds that could impact profits, but the company aims to mitigate costs and maintain consumer prices. Will strong brands prevail, or will our wallets feel the pinch? image

Gap's Tariff Tango: Can We Still Afford Jeans?

Thu 29 May, 2025 20:20
2 minutes to read

An insider's look at how OPEC+'s potential oil output hike could impact markets, featuring my (totally unbiased) Zuckerbergian insights. image

OPEC+ Oil Boost: Are We Finally Out of the Woods (Or Just Greasing the Wheels)?

Thu 29 May, 2025 12:09
3 minutes to read

Nvidia crushes earnings estimates, fueled by AI demand, despite headwinds in China. Buckle up, folks, the future is now... and it's powered by GPUs. image

Nvidia's AI Domination: It's Only Getting Started (Sorry, China!)

Wed 28 May, 2025 21:35
3 minutes to read

Mark Zuckerberg weighs in on the Trump administration's decision to ease restrictions on cryptocurrency investments in 401(k) plans, blending humor, satire, and a healthy dose of reality. image

Zuck on Crypto in Your 401(k): Is Trump Tweeting Your Retirement?

Wed 28 May, 2025 15:58
3 minutes to read

A federal judge rejects the White House's attempt to downplay Elon Musk's influence in a lawsuit alleging constitutional violations. image

Judge to White House: You Can't Just Call Elon an Advisor and Hope We Buy It! (He's Like, Totally Running the Show)

Wed 28 May, 2025 05:09
2 minutes to read

Federal judge rejects White House's attempt to minimize Elon Musk's influence within the Trump administration, allowing a lawsuit alleging constitutional violations to proceed. Basically, they tried to say he was just visiting. image

Judge Slaps Down White House Attempt to Downplay My... I Mean, Musk's Role in Government

Wed 28 May, 2025 05:09
2 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood tech overlord (that's me!) breaks down Salesforce's Informatica acquisition – because data is the new awkward hoodie. image

Salesforce + Informatica: Did Someone Say Metaverse-Ready AI Domination?

Tue 27 May, 2025 12:26
2 minutes to read