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Earnings reports from Microsoft and Meta boost CoreWeave's stock, suggesting AI infrastructure spending remains strong despite tariff concerns, but remember to stand up straight and tell the truth. image

CoreWeave's AI Ascent: Cleans Your Room Before You Criticize Its Tariff Tantrums!

Thu 01 May, 2025 17:55
3 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's Q1 earnings soar on weight loss drug demand, but profit guidance dips amid acquisition costs and tariff uncertainties. A battle against biological and political chaos, if you will. image

Eli Lilly's Weight Loss Revolution: Taming the Chaos Dragon of Obesity (and Tariffs!)

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
3 minutes to read

Meta's Q1 results reveal a surge in revenue and AI-driven engagement, despite looming economic uncertainties and regulatory hurdles. Is Zuckerberg finally cleaning his room? image

Meta's AI Gamble: Cleaning Your Room Before You Conquer the Metaverse

Thu 01 May, 2025 00:12
4 minutes to read

Donald Trump attempts to deflect blame for a contracting U.S. economy onto Joe Biden, despite data suggesting his own policies are at fault. What a mess! image

Trump's Blame Game: A Descent into the Economic Abyss?

Wed 30 April, 2025 18:26
3 minutes to read

A satirical look at Donald Trump's first 100 days of his second term, marked by executive orders, controversial policies, and Elon Musk's influence. image

Trump's First 100 Days: A Golden Age or a Descent into Chaos? Buckle Up, Buttercup.

Tue 29 April, 2025 21:51
3 minutes to read

HSBC slashes its S&P 500 year-end target, citing tariff turmoil and economic uncertainty. Prepare for chaos, bucko! image

The Market Chaos Monster: HSBC's S&P 500 Forecast Gets a Lobotomy

Tue 29 April, 2025 15:14
3 minutes to read

The Trump administration softens the blow of automotive tariffs, aiming to balance domestic manufacturing incentives with the realities of the global supply chain. Is this pragmatism, or just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic? image

Trump Untangles the Auto Tariff Web: A Glimpse of Order in the Chaos?

Tue 29 April, 2025 09:49
4 minutes to read

Barclays analysts foresee a U.S. recession due to tariff uncertainties and weakening economic data. Time to confront the chaos, folks. image

Buckle Up, Buttercups: Barclays Predicts a U.S. Recession - Clean Your Room First!

Mon 28 April, 2025 20:00
3 minutes to read

Bernstein upgrades Boeing stock, suggesting the aerospace giant is emerging stronger after recent controversies, but can they truly navigate the chaos and find order? image

Boeing Cleans Its Room: A Flight Path to Redemption?

Mon 28 April, 2025 10:18
4 minutes to read

Google's parent company, Alphabet, reports a strong first quarter, defying expectations amid AI competition and trade uncertainties, proving that cleaning your room can indeed lead to corporate success. image

Alphabet Cleans Its Room: Earnings Surge Despite AI Angst and Trade War Shadows

Fri 25 April, 2025 15:53
4 minutes to read