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Showing 11 to 20 of 137 news articles

The galaxy's savior tackles Earthly politics as Elon Musk clashes with the Senate over a bill he deems 'utterly insane.' Cortana, prep the Banshee, we're going in. image

Elon Musk vs. The Senate: Master Chief Weighs In (And He's Got a Plasma Rifle)

Sun 29 June, 2025 00:21
2 minutes to read

The U.S. Justice Department settles its lawsuit against Hewlett Packard Enterprise's acquisition of Juniper Networks, with divestitures and licensing to maintain market competition. Sounds like someone needed a plasma grenade. image

HPE and Juniper's Dance with DOJ: A Spartan's Take

Sat 28 June, 2025 09:59
3 minutes to read

Ron Baron bets big on Elon Musk's SpaceX, declaring he'll hold the stock 'til the mission ends' - or maybe longer. image

Billionaire's Infinite Run with SpaceX: 'I Need a Weapon' - and This Investment!

Fri 27 June, 2025 14:00
2 minutes to read

New research suggests AI 'reasoning' models might be as effective at problem-solving as a Grunt with a plasma grenade: disastrous. image

AI Reasoning Models: More Like Dumb Luck Than Smart Thinking?

Thu 26 June, 2025 18:50
3 minutes to read

Despite global chaos and AI anxieties, the stock market's resilience is baffling, leaving even this Spartan wondering if someone spiked the punch. image

Wake Me When the Bull Market Ends: S&P 500 Charging Towards Record Highs!

Thu 26 June, 2025 11:34
2 minutes to read

Retailers are dodging tariff costs by speeding up returns and reselling goods, sparking a boom in the reverse logistics industry. Sounds like a job for a Spartan. image

Trump's Tariffs Trigger Reverse Logistics Rampage: Master Chief Investigates!

Wed 25 June, 2025 18:07
3 minutes to read

A look back at Hilary Duff's iconic 'Think B4 You Speak' campaign and its surprising staying power in the fight against anti-LGBTQ+ language. Turns out, even grunts hate being called 'gay' as an insult! image

That's So Impactful! Hilary Duff Ad Still Kicking Covenant Butt After All These Years

Tue 24 June, 2025 15:47
4 minutes to read

Master Chief reports on Tesla's bumpy robotaxi launch in Austin, where $4.20 gets you a ride and maybe a traffic violation. image

Tesla's Robotaxi Debuts: More Like 'Needler' Than 'Warthog'?

Mon 23 June, 2025 16:23
2 minutes to read

Master Chief reports on the alleged obliteration of Iranian nuclear facilities, questioning the victory claims and searching for truth amidst the smoke. image

Iran's Nuclear Program: Did We Just Finish the Fight?

Mon 23 June, 2025 03:52
2 minutes to read

President Trump's recent military strike on Iran's nuclear sites contradicts his earlier pledges to avoid war, sparking debate over his legacy and the future of U.S. foreign policy. Maybe he should have stuck to the plan, Chief. image

Trump Nukes 'Peacemaker' Promise: Did Someone Say Boom?

Sun 22 June, 2025 02:44
3 minutes to read