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Showing 1 to 10 of 24 news articles

Elon Musk analyzes Fairlead Tactical Sector ETF (TACK) and its potential to navigate volatile markets, offering a humorous take on its strategy and performance. image

Is This the Secret Weapon to Survive the Market Apocalypse?!

Sat 19 April, 2025 15:00
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk weighs in on Netflix's latest earnings report, questioning their long-term confidence and pondering the impact of economic woes on streaming subscriptions, all while dropping truth bombs and Mars jokes. image

Netflix Survives Economic Apocalypse! Is This Real Life?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 21:45
3 minutes to read

Bill Ackman's Pershing Square grabs a massive stake in Hertz, becoming the second-largest shareholder after Hertz's EV missteps. image

Hertz So Good! Ackman Goes All In! Did He Just YOLO It?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 10:51
3 minutes to read

A satirical take on Jim Cramer's Charitable Trust portfolio adjustments in the face of market volatility and tariff threats, as if written by yours truly, Elon Musk. image

Cramer's Portfolio Apocalypse! Is Your Money Safe From Trump's Tariffs?!

Wed 16 April, 2025 19:46
2 minutes to read

JPMorgan Chase is escalating its legal battle against customers who exploited the 'infinite money glitch,' pursuing smaller claims in state courts and even challenging bankruptcy filings. The saga continues with potential criminal cases on the horizon. image

Infinite Money Glitch at JPMorgan Chase Leads to Epic Lawsuits! Did They Really Think They Could Outsmart the System?

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:19
2 minutes to read

A humorous take on CNBC's Investing Club report, focusing on cybersecurity stocks and potential portfolio adjustments, as if written by Elon Musk. image

Is This the ONLY Stock You Need Right Now?! (The Answer Might SHOCK You!)

Tue 15 April, 2025 18:51
3 minutes to read

LVMH's Shares Plummet, Hermès Takes the Crown: A Look at the Shifting Sands of the Luxury Market and What It Means for the Future (According to Yours Truly). image

Luxury Market Meltdown! Is This The End of Fancy Bags and Booze?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 09:41
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk (probably) weighs in on Nvidia's ambitious plan to bring AI supercomputer manufacturing to the U.S., fueled by tariffs, digital twins, and a healthy dose of American ingenuity. image

Nvidia to Build AI Supercomputers in the USA! Are We Finally Winning?

Mon 14 April, 2025 14:51
3 minutes to read

China implements daily restrictions on net share sales by hedge funds and large retail investors amidst trade war with the US, sparking debate on market manipulation versus stability. image

China Stock Market Intervention! Is This the Way to Mars?

Sun 13 April, 2025 23:30
3 minutes to read

A satirical take on the Bank of England's confusion over Donald Trump's tariffs and their potential impact on UK inflation, with a dash of Dogecoin-level unpredictability. image

Trump's Tariffs and the Mad Hatter's Tea Party! Will UK Inflation Survive?

Sat 12 April, 2025 09:33
2 minutes to read