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Showing 31 to 40 of 90 news articles

Lyft defies economic doom, boosts buybacks, and silences activist investors. Ripley, still suspicious, reports from the Nostromo... I mean, Earth. image

Lyft's Wild Ride: From Xenomorph-Sized Losses to Pocket Change Profits!

Fri 09 May, 2025 14:19
3 minutes to read

Pinterest defies ad-pocalypse predictions with a surprise Q1 surge, leaving other tech giants sweating like facehugger victims. image

Pinterest's Profit Pin-Up: Surviving the Digital Xenomorphs!

Thu 08 May, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Stock futures rally on news of a UK trade agreement, but veterans of Xenomorph battles remain skeptical. image

Another Day, Another Deal: Trump Touts Trade, Wall Street Holds Its Breath

Thu 08 May, 2025 13:19
3 minutes to read

Ripley reports on Saudi Arabia's increasing investment in women's golf through the Public Investment Fund, stirring up questions of empowerment and economic diversification... smells like corporate BS to me. image

Another Bug Hunt? Saudi Arabia's PIF Swings into Women's Golf!

Wed 07 May, 2025 22:00
2 minutes to read

Disney's Q2 earnings soar, driven by streaming gains and theme park magic, while Ripley ponders if it's all just corporate smoke and mirrors. image

Disney's Fiscal Firefight: Mouse House Roars Back (No Xenomorphs Involved...Yet)

Wed 07 May, 2025 15:08
3 minutes to read

From China trade talks to Big Pharma woes and volatile energy markets, Ripley dissects the economic landscape with a Xenomorph-sized dose of skepticism. image

Another Day, Another Dollar... Down the Drain: Ripley's Take on Today's Market Mayhem

Tue 06 May, 2025 23:42
5 minutes to read

Ellen Ripley analyzes the volatile stock market, where some companies are thriving while others are facing Xenomorph-level disasters. image

These Companies Are Screaming, And Not In A Good Way: A Ripley Report

Tue 06 May, 2025 16:20
2 minutes to read

Echoes of Nostromo as SpaceX employees seize control of a new Texas town, raising questions about corporate power and environmental risks. image

Another Day, Another Colony Gone Rogue: Musk Creates His Own Starbase Nightmare!

Mon 05 May, 2025 22:52
3 minutes to read

Microsoft founder Bill Gates urges wealthy nations to achieve net-zero emissions, highlighting the need for innovation and leadership in combating climate change. Sounds like another Weyland-Yutani scheme if you ask me. image

Bill Gates Says Rich Countries Must Go Net Zero: Another Bug Hunt?

Mon 05 May, 2025 15:56
3 minutes to read

Trade wars and tariffs are threatening to turn the festive season into a desolate wasteland. Retailers and suppliers are playing a high-stakes game of chicken with the Grinch...or maybe something worse. image

Christmas Creep vs. Tariff Terror: Looks Like Santa's Sleigh is Headed for a Xenomorph-Sized Asteroid!

Mon 05 May, 2025 01:12
3 minutes to read