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Showing 11 to 20 of 133 news articles

France throws Schrute Bucks (Euros) at Eutelsat to create a European Starlink alternative, but can they compete with Elon Musk's space dominance? image

Battlestar Galactica or Bust: France Invests in Eutelsat to Fight Elon Musk's Starlink Menace!

Sun 29 June, 2025 06:08
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on Germany's data protection concerns over DeepSeek's AI app and its potential data transfer to China, a clear violation of GDPR and a threat to European security. image

False! DeepSeek's AI Data Grab: A Threat Level Midnight Situation for Germany!

Fri 27 June, 2025 12:07
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute analyzes Nike's quarterly woes, tariff troubles, and the Skims delay, wondering if even beet-fueled innovation can save the day. image

Nike's Fiscal Foot Fault: Is the Swoosh About to Stumble?

Thu 26 June, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on Nvidia's triumphant return as the world's most valuable company, boosting Asian chip stocks and proving that AI is the new beet farming. image

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. And...CHIPS! Nvidia Conquers the World (Again)

Thu 26 June, 2025 02:46
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute investigates conflicting reports on the success of U.S. airstrikes against Iran's nuclear facilities, finding truth buried deeper than beets in Schrute Farms. image

Iran's Nuclear Program Obliterated? A Schrute Farms Investigation!

Wed 25 June, 2025 15:40
2 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute reports on the ongoing trademark dispute between OpenAI and hardware startup Iyo, featuring accusations, removed blog posts, and email screenshots. Prepare for a beet-flavored legal battle! image

Litigation Shenanigans! OpenAI CEO Calls Trademark Lawsuit "Silly, Disappointing, and Wrong" - Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.

Tue 24 June, 2025 22:11
2 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager (and Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy), reports on the fluctuating oil market amid Iran-Israel tensions and Trump's 'ceasefire'. image

Bears. Beets. Barrels! Oil Prices Plummet as Trump Declares Ceasefire (Maybe)

Tue 24 June, 2025 11:40
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager (and Volunteer Sheriff's Deputy) reports on the chaos in Middle Eastern airspace, where airlines are diverting flights faster than Michael Scott can mismanage a client meeting. Prepare for turbulence! image

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice! Middle East Airspace Under Siege!

Mon 23 June, 2025 18:00
2 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute analyzes China's measured response to the escalating conflict between the U.S., Iran, and Israel, revealing potential opportunities for Beijing amidst the chaos. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. image

Beets, Bombs, and Beijing: China's Calculated Calm Amidst Middle East Mayhem

Mon 23 June, 2025 11:03
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager (and volunteer Sheriff's Deputy), analyzes the Middle East's market response to escalating tensions, proving once again that beets are the answer to everything (probably). image

Bears. Beets. Bombs! Middle East Markets React to US-Iran Conflict – Schrute Style!

Sun 22 June, 2025 14:40
3 minutes to read