Doctor Evil - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 81 to 90 of 131 news articles

Major League Soccer sees a surge in sponsorships and attendance, fueled by Messi and the upcoming 2026 World Cup. Is this finally soccer's 'mojo' moment in America? image

One MILLION Dollars! U.S. Soccer's World Domination Plot Revealed!

Mon 05 May, 2025 13:45
2 minutes to read

I'll Take Dividend Stocks For 1 Million Dollars!

Sun 04 May, 2025 11:18
3 minutes to read

Despite Trump's warning against using Signal after the 'Signalgate' leak, some of his officials, including Mike Waltz, appear to be using a modified version of the app for communications. Curiouser and curiouser! image

Signalgate 2.0: Even Trump's Guys Can't Resist a Little Encrypted Chatting! (Shh, Don't Tell)

Fri 02 May, 2025 20:10
4 minutes to read

Chinese electric vehicle companies are experiencing a surge in deliveries, signaling a potential shift in the global automotive market. But are they ready for Doctor Evil? image

EV-IL Domination: Chinese Automakers Plot World Takeover (One Electric Car at a Time!)

Fri 02 May, 2025 10:38
1 minutes to read

Amazon's cloud business, AWS, faces slower growth than expected, while competitors like Microsoft and Google are nipping at their heels. Is this a temporary setback or a sign of doom for the online giant? image

AWS Growth Stalls: Is This The End of the World... For Amazon, Muahahaha!

Thu 01 May, 2025 22:43
2 minutes to read

Dr. Evil analyzes Apple's latest earnings report, pondering the implications of Trump's tariffs and the potential for world domination...or at least a new laser. image

Apple's Earnings Report: Tariffs, Trade Wars, and...ONE MILLION DOLLARS!

Thu 01 May, 2025 16:00
2 minutes to read

Eli Lilly's diabetes and weight loss drugs are flying off the shelves, but a cancer treatment deal has Dr. Evil eyeing their full-year profit forecast with suspicion. image

Lilly's Weight Loss Empire: A Bloated Profit or Just Plain Evil?

Thu 01 May, 2025 12:04
2 minutes to read

Epic Systems gains massive hospital market share, leaving Oracle (formerly Cerner) struggling and facing criticism. Is this the end for Larry Ellison's plans to conquer healthcare? Mwahahaha! image

ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Epic Systems Dominates EHR Market, Oracle Left Crying in a Corner!

Wed 30 April, 2025 21:24
3 minutes to read

A chilling report from the front lines of the AI wars, where even Doctor Evil is starting to sweat as tech stocks plummet and recession looms. Can my army of AI-powered sharks still take over the world? image

AI Stocks Take a Nasty Fall: Is My Plan for World Domination Doomed?

Wed 30 April, 2025 17:26
3 minutes to read

UBS reports surprising profits but warns of global trade impact due to U.S. tariffs. Doctor Evil weighs in, naturally. image

UBS Beats Expectations, But Doctor Evil Sees a Tariff-ing Future!

Wed 30 April, 2025 07:30
2 minutes to read