Doctor Evil - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 51 to 60 of 89 news articles

Volvo Cars announces massive cost-cutting measures and withdraws financial guidance after a sharp drop in operating profit, leaving Doctor Evil pondering his next diabolical acquisition. image

Volvo's Billion Dollar Blunder: Is This My Chance to Buy a Car Company for ONE MILLION DOLLARS?

Tue 29 April, 2025 08:26
2 minutes to read

Dr. Evil analyzes how Trump's tariffs could lead to shortages, layoffs, and a full-blown recession this summer. Prepare for economic doom, Austin! image

Rats! Trump's Tariffs Triggering a Recession? I Should Have Invested!

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:32
3 minutes to read

Major companies are investing in natural hydrogen as a potential clean energy source, but challenges remain regarding economic viability and environmental impact. Muhahaha! image

Natural Hydrogen: A 'White Gold' Rush or Just Another Bloated Fish?

Mon 28 April, 2025 05:07
3 minutes to read

Big Tech considers fossil fuels to power their AI overlords, proving even they can't resist the allure of good ol' fashioned environmental destruction! Prepare for global warming, muhahaha! image

Amazon and Nvidia Turn to the Dark Side! Mwah-ha-ha!

Sat 26 April, 2025 13:08
2 minutes to read

Ex-Congressman George Santos, the master of fibs, gets sentenced to over seven years for fraud. It's almost enough to make me, Doctor Evil, shed a single, perfectly sinister tear of joy. Almost. image

Seven Years! Muahahaha! George Santos Gets a Time Out!

Fri 25 April, 2025 16:14
2 minutes to read

Jim Cramer points to strong earnings and White House silence as key factors in the market's recent rally. Could this be my doing? image

One Million Dollars! Market Rallies Back, Thanks To Earnings (And My Sheer Evil Genius?)

Thu 24 April, 2025 23:02
2 minutes to read

Doctor Evil analyzes the latest economic news, including the surge in durable goods orders and the impact of Trump's tariffs. He finds a potential advantage in the chaos... mwahahaha! image

Durable Goods Orders SOAR! Is This Trump's Doing... YEAH, BABY!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:05
2 minutes to read

Doctor Evil analyzes Kering's recent sales slump, questioning whether this signifies an opportunity to take over the world, as Gucci's sales plummet and macroeconomic woes loom. image

Kering's Luxury Sales PLUNGE! Is This My Chance for World Domination?!

Thu 24 April, 2025 08:17
2 minutes to read

Citadel CEO Ken Griffin warns that Trump's trade policies are damaging America's global reputation and financial stability, mirroring my own attempts at world domination...but on a slightly smaller, slightly less hairy scale. image

Is Trump Destroying America's Brand Like I Almost Destroyed Austin Powers!?

Wed 23 April, 2025 17:45
3 minutes to read

Doctor Evil investigates Eli Lilly's legal battle against telehealth companies selling compounded versions of their weight loss and diabetes drugs, uncovering potential corporate villainy and pharmaceutical power plays. image

Eli Lilly's Lawsuit Against Telehealth Companies Is It A Diabolical Scheme?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 10:30
2 minutes to read