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Showing 21 to 30 of 135 news articles

Bitcoin's having a bad hair day, thanks to Middle East drama and scary inflation numbers. I'm 40% sure it'll bounce back... maybe. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! Bitcoin Plunges Amidst War and Inflation Fears!

Sun 22 June, 2025 23:49
3 minutes to read

That's right, meatbags! Your favorite bending unit reports on the U.S. turning Iranian nuclear facilities into radioactive scrap metal. Looks like someone's getting a time-out! image

Bite My Shiny Metal A**, Iran! Trump Nukes Nuclear Sites!

Sun 22 June, 2025 02:14
2 minutes to read

Tesla's building a massive battery plant in China, which means more power... for everyone else. I'm still waiting for MY free electricity. image

Bender's Take: Tesla Plugs Into China with Giant Battery Deal! Bite My Shiny Metal Megapack!

Fri 20 June, 2025 15:47
2 minutes to read

Bender reports on China's decision to keep lending rates unchanged, hinting at economic satisfaction and a possible shift in stimulus strategies. Looks like someone's been drinking too much oil! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Assets: China's Lending Rates Frozen Solid!

Fri 20 June, 2025 02:10
3 minutes to read

Bender's take on how a potential Iran regime change could screw up the global oil market, possibly leading to more expensive booze... I mean, fuel. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Barrel: Iran, Israel, and the Oil Apocalypse (Maybe)

Wed 18 June, 2025 18:35
3 minutes to read

Khamenei threatens 'irreparable damage' if US attacks, while Trump yells about surrender. Markets are scrambling for gold, probably to melt it down and make shiny stuff. I approve. image

BITE MY SHINY METAL A**, AMERICA! Iran's Supreme Leader Tells US Where to Shove It!

Wed 18 June, 2025 12:25
2 minutes to read

Some fancy-pants New York Comptroller got nicked by the fuzz. Apparently, sticking up for illegal immigrants can land you in the slammer. Who knew? image

Bender's News Flash: Meatbag Politician Gets the Ol' Clampy Treatment!

Tue 17 June, 2025 20:19
2 minutes to read

AstraZeneca, Pfizer and Merck are battling it out in the world of Antibody-Drug Conjugates, potentially replacing chemo with targeted therapies. Will it be 'Bite my shiny metal ass' to cancer cells? image

Bite My Shiny Metal ADC! New Cancer Drugs Aim to Dethrone Chemotherapy!

Tue 17 June, 2025 11:41
3 minutes to read

That shiny-metal-a**, Justin Sun, is making moves again, merging Tron with a toy company and cozying up to the Trump crew. Is this the future, or just a glitch in the system? image

Bender's Take: Justin Sun's Tron Merges with Toy Company, Because Why Not?

Mon 16 June, 2025 17:59
2 minutes to read

Bite My Glossy Metal Assets! Kering Gets a Shiny New CEO

Mon 16 June, 2025 08:24
3 minutes to read