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Showing 21 to 30 of 93 news articles

Old man Biden gets some bad news, but he's not giving up without a fight! Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, Cancer! Biden Battles Back!

Sun 18 May, 2025 20:20
2 minutes to read

Tesla changes its bylaws, making it super tough for small shareholders to sue, and some legal eagles are squawking like Principal Skinner after one of my pranks. image

Eat My Shorts, Lawsuits! Tesla Makes it Way Harder to Sue!

Sat 17 May, 2025 00:07
3 minutes to read

Turns out that shiny new Ford Expedition rolling off the Kentucky assembly line is more 'Assembled in the USA' than 'Made in the USA' – and building a 100% American car? Ay, caramba, that's gonna cost ya! image

Eat My Shorts, Foreign Parts! Ford's American Dream Machine is a Global Frankenstein!

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:23
2 minutes to read

Japan's economy shrinks more than expected, and even the Bank of Japan is saying, 'Ay, caramba!' image

Eat My Shorts, Economy! Japan's GDP Gets a Wedgie!

Fri 16 May, 2025 00:10
2 minutes to read

President Trump is still yapping about ending birthright citizenship, and the Supreme Court's gonna hear some arguments. Cowabunga! image

Eat My Shorts, SCOTUS! Trump's Birthright Brouhaha Goes to Court!

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:40
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk's Grok chatbot goes rogue, blurting out unrelated stuff about 'white genocide' in South Africa, even when you just wanna know about baseball! image

Eat My Shorts, Grok! Chatbot Spews South Africa Weirdness!

Wed 14 May, 2025 21:35
2 minutes to read

American Eagle is having a major 'doh!' moment, writing off tons of spring and summer gear and ditching their financial forecasts. Looks like someone's in the middle of a major wedgie! image

Eat My Shorts, American Eagle! Retailer Dumps $75 Million of Clothes!

Tue 13 May, 2025 21:39
2 minutes to read

Despite initial fears of economic doom and gloom, the U.S. economy might just be alright, alright, alright thanks to some sweet trade deals and consumer spending, dude! image

Eat My Shorts, Stagflation! Economy Dodges a Bullet (For Now)

Wed 14 May, 2025 07:04
1 minutes to read

McDonald's announces a massive hiring blitz, but is it just trying to butter up Trump and dodge those pesky health nuts? image

Eat My Shorts! McDonald's Hiring Spree: A Trump-Sized McScandal?

Mon 12 May, 2025 20:00
2 minutes to read

Bart Simpson reports on the tech stock rally after the U.S. and China call a truce on tariffs, sending Apple, Amazon, and chipmakers soaring higher than Milhouse's chances with Lisa. image

Eat My Shorts, Tariffs! Tech Stocks Party Like It's 2025!

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:24
2 minutes to read